The chucheta

I was walking out of the grocery store heading to the car when I noticed something in the street. It was a chucheta (pacifier) like Isannah constantly used in the NICU. For some reason seeing that chucheta on the ground made me cry where I stood. I guess I was taking back to that time and to the times that if we didn’t have it around when Isa wanted it she would cry so sadly. I pictured a baby screaming while her mom frantically searched for the lost chucheta. I wanted to pick it up, dust it off and sanitize it just to have it on hand in case I found that mother/father and their child. I had to force myself to walk away, wipe my tears and get in my car. Is there something wrong with me? 

It was that kind of day!

Sniffles, sneezes and water eyes fill this house followed by a lot of whining, crying and exhaustion. Boy, being sick with the kids in the summer stinks. The constant rain outside doesn’t make it easier but the silliness that occurs when you are tired out of your mind keeps the laughs rolling. Lets just say I had my share of bloopers these past few days. One particular incident comes to mind. Who am I kidding, a couple do and I will share them with you. The kids and I are playing doctor. Well, I’m the patient and they are Doc McStuffins. Yes, they both have to be Doc McStuffins because if you don’t refer to both of them that way the whining and unbelievably loud crying begins. I’m doing my best to avoid that from happening. Gio begins to check my temperature by sliding the thermometer over my forehead as I do to them when they are sick. Isa uses the stethoscope to check my heartbeat then immediately grabs the instrument to check my ears while saying, “ok, mommy all good.” Gio leans over to check my blood pressure but in doing so a big stream of drool from his mouth finds it’s way in my eye. As I try to clean it he hands me something not paying attention I try to grab it. He tells me no that he will do it. Since they always pretend to have food and want to feed me, I let him. All of the sudden I feel this slimy, salty, sticky thing on my lips and half way in my mouth. Gio giggles and says my booger. I went from wiping my eye filled drool to pulling out Gio’s salty booger. This is where the doctors and patient game ends. Now let me fast forward to our bedtime routine. Isa’s already done and in sleep land. Thank goodness! While Gio is just starting. Before they take a bath each now pees and/or poops in the big potty. Gio is tired but still needs to pee so he sits on the big potty. It takes him some time so as I hold him I lower my head. All of the sudden pee is smacking me in the cheek. I don’t want to get to excited in fear the pee will just wash my entire face so I gently help him push it down. I calmly remind him that he needs to hold it down. He gently pushes down and continues to pee. Somehow his pee finds it’s way where the gap between the toilet seat and the toilet bowl meet and pee comes squirting out on to my leg. A quick adjustment and the pee fills the toilet bowl the right way. Soaked in pee I’m grateful that the peeing is done and it’s finally bath time. Wrong again! Gio tells me he is pooping. I decide to make myself comfortable by sitting on the edge of the bathtub while holding him up. I lower my head because I’m about to pass out but Gio keeps me on my toes with a line of boogers carefully placed on my hand. After a peed cheek, soaked pee pants and booger tattoos on my hand, an itsy bitsy poop slowly falls out of Gio’s butt and with a smile on his face he says, “poop mommy m&m’s.” It was that kind of day.
Please feel free to share your stories. I’d love to hear them. 

My magical night

I had the most magical night. My husband and I shared our 5th Anniversary tonight. The weather couldn’t get any better. The breeze was perfect and the calmness that surrounded us felt like a security blanket of love. We enjoyed the special emotions the night time in the city brings. I had butterflies in my belly as I stared at my handsome man who sat to the side of me in the cab. We were on our way to a special place. I still had no idea where we were going but the comfort in his eyes and the touch of his hand brought me an invisible peace. The driver stopped and we got out of the cab. Asher gently grabbed my hand as we began to walk. Suddenly I looked up and saw the name of a familiar restaurant and I couldn’t help but smile. This was the restaurant we ate at in the Bahamas. The restaurant where this handsome man proposed. I ordered the same appetizer as I did then on that amazing night. Each bite spread a warmth throughout my body and a smile in my heart. With each bite a memory from that special night surfaced. I was giddy all night long. I kept looking to the right at this beautiful man sitting beside me and thinking how thankful I am and how blessed I feel. The night ended with a stroll in the park where we shared our very first kiss. This was definitely a magical night which ended with the most perfect kiss. 

Everyone needs a seal

Today was a day of mixed emotions so it called for some alone time with my Nonna. Sadly, I can’t just go to her and rest my head on her shoulders just to feel the comfort being with her gives or hold her and have her just look at me and ease my mind. She is not physically here with us any more but her spirit is all around. I went to visit her today at the cemetery. I know it’s not the same and a lot of people say there’s no point because it is no longer her but it’s not about that. It’s a comfort knowing that you can be with her at her last place and know that something extremely wonderful took place. Her soul was lifted and now she lives within us. I know that she is not there but her name is there. Her picture is there and the prayers and comfort that visiting her brings is there. At least that’s how I see it. I just sat there and looked up at her photo and along side of her was my Nonno. Both looking down at me as I took them in. Sometimes things, days or just a song can make your day a little crummy or just take you to a place you worked so hard to get away from. You find all the positive that surrounds you and all the love that fills your heart and hold on to that but every once and again something slips in. This is what brings me to the cemetery. A little extra love and ease coming from a woman that loved so much helps me find that seal to close that gap. I hope everyone has that seal. 

Tea and birthday cake

There’s something about watching the kids play (nicely) in the upstairs playroom that does something to me. I’m not sure if it’s the peaceful setting. The soft colors that surround us with warmth and love or just the two of them finding a friend in each other but it makes me feel at ease. They each find a seat close together while organizing the station in preparation for tea time and birthday cake, as they clearly stated. Giovanni pours tea while Isannah lays out the cookies and cakes. They offer each other their selections and pretend to eat. The pleases and thank yous make my heart happy. All of the sudden one of the cakes fell over and hit Isannah on the arm. She made a sad face and just when she was about to cry, Giovanni kissed her arm and said, “ok Isa better.” She smiled and they began to enjoy their little tea birthday party. I just sat back and watched with the biggest smile on my face and in my heart. The giggles and laughter that filled that room this evening took me to the future of a beautiful friendship. They are brother and sister but the friendship that I watch develop daily will last in their hearts forever.

Night time routine

Gio is beginning to change our nightly routine. The night goes as follows: dinner, daddy reads books as I prepare the bath for baby number one (Isa). Isa comes up, I give her a bath, dry, pjs, brush teeth, brush hair, cuddle, sing a few songs and put down to bed. Then baby number two (Gio) comes up to start the routine all over again. The past couple of nights Gio’s found stalling A LOT gets him to bed later with more cuddle time with mom in the bathroom. When I finally get him out of the bath I cuddle with him while singing before putting him down to continue the night routine. He clings on to me so I won’t put him down and get him dressed. He holds on to me for dear life and says “almost”. Almost is his new favorite word meaning there’s still more time and we aren’t done just yet but we will almost be done but not yet “almost.” I love our night routine and love my cuddle time with both of them. It does wonders for calming down my busy day but the extra cuddle time not wanting to get dressed is getting longer and longer. I feel horrible when he cries and doesn’t want to let me go. I would hold him forever but that’s the problem. I feel like I’m making the problem worse. I do love that naked little tushie and how his hugs feel so much better just out of a bath. You just want to eat them all up. They are so cute and kindly tired that those hugs means so much more. I’m not sure if it was the three days of fever that caused a change in the schedule but it’s getting a little harder. I hate to admit this but I’m also dragging during bath time and feel horrible for feeling that way. I just adore these kids and never want to be the cause of their little tears. The night routine is drawing near so we will see how tonight goes. Gio is fever free and feeling more like his spunky self so let’s see what happens. Bring on those baby cuddles and the “almost.”