Tonight’s joy

There’s nothing better than hearing your daughter singing at the top of her lungs with excitement during a performance of Frozen on Ice but to turn to your left to see your husband holding your son who is nestled in his arms with tears in his eyes looking over at his daughter. That was the best moment of the entire night for me. When he caught my eyes staring the smile on his face said it all. I knew that he was taking quickly back to the time in the NICU where it all started and then back to how amazingly beautiful, healthy and happy she was right at that moment. At least that was the look I received. That was how I felt and his smile confirmed this miraculous moment was even possible.

Frozen on Ice will mean different things for different people but for me it will be a constant reminder of the joy and pure excitement on my children’s face. It will remind me of the appreciation we felt watching a show that can lift a persons spirits and bring hope in the eyes of so many.

The memory of this evening and that moment is etched in my heart permanently. I have another happiness that I can turn to when a day just isn’t going right.

May you always have a saved happiness you can remember.

True friends and thanks!

Today I’m reminded just how wonderful it feels to have someone that truly knows YOU for YOU and loves you anyway. I’m reminded just how precious and beautiful a life with a true friend means. We all have people we know, an acquaintance, someone we know in passing or meet along the way through a friend and although it’s nice to know, it’s nothing like the love and relationship of a true friend. One that touches your heart and soul and no matter what happens in between or the miles of distance that friend is a hearts friend. One that belongs there and can never go away. I’m lucky to experience and know what that means. You know who you are and if I don’t say it often or reach out to you as much as I’d like, please know that your love, support and life through the years are my greatest gifts. Please know that I don’t take our friendship for granted and during these last few days, I want you to know you are loved. Life is fragile and oh so short, never doubt for a moment that you were not thought about or prayed for because you are.
All those who say hi along the way and send a nice note, thank you.
May this day embrace you with love so strong it holds you and warms your soul. I have several angels up above that I miss dearly but I know I can see them in my memories, hold them in my heart and see them in my dreams. Sometimes I look up and just smile. I hope you smile today even though your heart may be breaking.

Trying to see life in the sadness

It’s been a day(s) filled with many emotions. I can’t understand how in one second you can be unbelievably happy and in the next the sadness you feel is like heat burning your chest from your heart crumbling. With each falling piece you feel the weight of life slipping and it’s hard to breathe. I felt that on and off today and much of last night. The in between, I was reminded of how beautiful life is. My sister cousin got married today and her wedding reminded me of the happiness that remains. Although we feel sadness and feel like our hope is slipping away there is something like today that tells me to keep the faith. Watching her smile, laugh, dance and just look absolutely beautiful in her dress pulled at my cheeks and helped me raise them in celebration of life. She was starting a new journey as husband and wife and we were there to witness the kind beauty.
Although I lost someone dear to me, I was reminded of all the amazing times I had with her and felt pretty damn lucky to be able to hold on to those memories. That doesn’t mean there’s not a void and sadness, it means that I will try my hardest to fill it with the happiness we shared.
Being surrounded by family was just what I needed.
Happy 37th Birthday today up in Heaven to my dear friend of strength, courage, life and love. The stars are shining brighter tonight.