Saying goodbye to 2024 and reflecting on the ups and downs that came with it. In the new year we must approach life with love, kindness, and a sense of urgency, not putting off experiences and connections due to fear or routine. This mindset can help us make the most of the time we have and can create meaningful memories with those around us.
As we look forward to the new year, I’m hoping for more kindness, love, laughter, and opportunities to make memories with loved ones. It’s a great reminder that life is precious and should be lived to the fullest.
Life can take us in many different directions, but it’s how we approach those twists and turns that matters. With love and kindness, we can cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfillment, even in the face of uncertainty.
I try every day to see the good that surrounds me but sometimes my mind gets cloudy and pulls me in a direction I fear will bring me back to the sadness I carry with me.
This past year had beautiful memories but right at the end my faith was tested again. I entered 2025 with heartbreak.
New year’s started with a loss so great my mind still can’t comprehend. My beautiful, kind, full of life, make things happen, friend was taken too soon.
I met DQ when I first moved back to NY and walked into my first job. He welcomed me with nothing but kindness. He created an environment that was scary for me, with nothing but joy. He took my fear and turned it around allowing me to open up to the possibilities it could bring. He always included me and made sure I was comfortable. He made me laugh so much. When I was with him I knew things would always be great.
His was a friendship that blossomed through the years and he became a staple in my life. From our work Thursday night drinks to our talks that always ended with my cheeks hurting from laughter, he was that friend you needed in your life.
I will be grateful to you always and for being able to see you and hold your hand as I said goodbye.
Dearest DQ,
I want to tell you, thank you! I hope you truly felt how much your friendship means to me. Thank you for the many laughs, unfaltering friendship, pop in notes, but more importantly your kindness and heart. Always full of life, joy, and the many adventures you shared with all of us. I am forever grateful that I had the chance to hear you once more. Your voice was soft and kind. You said it was ok. You were so brave until the very end.
Praying all the amazing memories we all shared with you helps with the everyday knowing you are at peace. 24+ years was too little but ever so grand.
Life really does have a way of grabbing you and flinging you off the ride from time to time. It’s up to you to see how you land each time you are tossed.
There was a lot that was going on these past few weeks.
Those who are not from the New York area might not understand this but the High School process for 8th graders and their family is truly a nightmare. Not only are there deadlines that need to be met, there’s a lottery system that tells you what place you are in. Who gets lucky to choose their top 5 high schools and guarantee a spot in their top choices. Others aren’t so lucky, just like us. Both my kids received the bottom 3% number which means no matter how unbelievably amazing my kids’ grades are they will probably not get any of their top selections. Thank goodness for specialized testing, auditions, and screened HS. Keeping our fingers crossed that any of those work in our favor. Because fear of placement in HS has forced us into the private school route. That was even more stressful because now comes essays, questions for both kids and parents. Interviews, another test for private school entry, and much more.
All this was going on during my dad’s emergency hospital visit and 7 days that followed in the hospital. It was scary but thankfully things got better and he was able to get back home. Not much I can say about that at this time or my eyes will continue to cry like a fountain’s water quickly falling.
Let’s jump into a happier moment.
The Nutcracker.
My daughter dedicated her weekends and time to Nutcracker rehearsals. Her motivation and drive inspires us all. This is the time of year we all look forward to. It’s the time of year when family and friends near and far come together to see her shine on stage and that, she sure did!
What a magical experience to witness each year. With each dance that makes its way on the stage I’m always taking back to where and when it all started. Her first role, a mouse, in the Nutcracker is etched in my memory forever.
I could picture it like it was just yesterday. She was the cutest little thing. Now each time the music begins I get butterflies knowing the mice will come on stage. That’s when a tear escapes my eyes because all I see is her. Tiny little legs performing and jumping on the back of the soldier. I see her. I will always see her first.
And now to what we were all anxiously waiting for. The music begins to play and the beautiful lights light up the stage. The Windmaidens flow gracefully on stage. Eyes focusing on each maiden until I see her. There she was moving about so flawlessly. She’s there. I look around me to make sure all our guests know she is there too. They are all staring at her with joy in their eyes and happiness on their face. My eyes quickly return to her. I watched as she brought me in with her hypnotic moves. It was so beautiful. She was lithely flowing. It was mesmerizing.
And then she gracefully échappé right off the stage. I can watch that performance over and over, and I have. I couldn’t go to just one show. I had to go to several. Afterall, she did perform in all shows from Friday to Sunday.
But that’s not all. There was one extra special performance. Performance 2 where she was not only a Windmaiden but also a Spanish Attendant. Three girls on stage and my beautiful radiant girl was one. Her moves were faster. Her grand jeté was breathtaking. My girl was flying through the air. She flew higher than anything I saw.
That was it. That finally did me in. I could feel my lids actually swelling. Trying so hard not to cry but I just let the happiness take over. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The moment was beautifully felt by all.
The final show. The applause begins again and only gets louder as the curtains close and reopen once more. What a grand last night. My husband and I made our way to the foyer so that we could finally see our girl and take her in for the biggest hug.
It truly has been an amazing surprise birthday gift while celebrating our 16th anniversary a little early. We explored the Greek Island Kefalonia where we stayed for the first part of our trip. The beaches were breathtakingly stunning. We drove and visited towns along the island.
Blue water layering color beaches with mountains as backdrops, some had towns in the distance, and some your view was different shades of the perfect blues I’ve ever seen.
Too many beaches to name but our favorites were Makris Gialos and the most beautiful beach yet was Myrtos. You can find the Myrtos Cave located on the beach and it’s easy to walk and swim through. The sun peaking through the cave allowed the blues of the water to light up in the most mystical way. This was the first Blue Cave we experienced in Greece. The next two were Drogarati and Melissani Caves.
Drogarati Cave which was discovered over 300 years ago when a strong earthquake caused a collapse that revealed the cave’s entrance. The formations of stalactites and stalagmites are truly remarkable and definitely worth walking through. The limestone felt cold and wet to the touch.
Finally but not least, one of the most visited is the Melissani Cave. “The roof of one of the halls caved in centuries ago, letting sunlight filter in. When the sun is right overhead at noon, the sunlight hitting the turquoise blue waters creates a magical illusion and the whole Cave of Melissani suddenly feels lit with blue light.”
Mythhas it that the cave was named after the nymph Melissanthi who committed suicide by jumping from the top into the cave because God Pan did not reciprocate her love. Aw, love can make you do some crazy things.
In the past you were also able to walk up the steep hidden path leading up to the cave overhead to view the cave from above. I was told it was the most amazing view to see the lit up electric blue waters and formations from the top looking in. Sadly, a person decided it would be a good idea to jump off the top into the cave and ruin it for the rest as it will be permanently closed from above viewing. Maybe in time that will change but for now it stands.
The towns filled with colors, from homes to flowers, winding tiny roads, and the love of a community are always appealing in their own way.
I’m always amazed and humbled by the towns we see and the people that welcome us. Being a part of their culture and town for just a day does something for your soul. The kindness we received and the welcoming into family owned restaurants as if we too were part of the family will always be carried in my heart.
From towns like Argostoli, Fiscarko, Assos, Sami, and more. We’ve visited a few.
We ended our last night in Kefalonia at the Olive Lounge Restaurant & Bar at St. Georges Castle in Argostoli. This family owned most enchanting place was truly magical. From the atmosphere, gazing views of the town and water, location, and staff, not to forget the owner’s special attention to each guest blew me away. Each item we ordered was a burst of flavor and colors in your mouth. The meals were like no other but the owner Liana who shows genuine gratitude and love made the last night in Kefalonia complete. We met her sister Maria Tsimbourla who was just as lovely and had her contemporary artwork displayed throughout the restaurant. They are two of the nicest, kindest, humbled women you will meet.
As our first part of the trip has ended and the next just beginning I will be taking all the love, electric blues of the beaches, and the memories we made with us.
And now the ferry. My fear of being on a ferry for more than 30 minutes was getting stronger as the departure time was growing near. It was our way to travel from Kefalonia to Zakynthos. A special ferry to carry our luggages to the next island took about 4 hours. I hate to admit this but my stomach was turning from nerves and my anxiousness was on high alert as we pulled away from the island and into the amazing blue waters. As the motor picked up I looked into the water and felt the cool mist hit my face. My body began to relax. Seeing things all around me from a pirate boat, yachts, sailboats, and the amazing island shapes around us, relaxed me even more. I was taking it all in and remembering that soon we would be on land to enjoy another island.
As our next destination came into view the excitement hit me all over again and I forgot the fear I felt in the beginning. It was beautiful and I knew this would be another memorable experience. Making our way off the ferry we were immediately greeted by our express rental car contact. She was lovely and the process went seamlessly. Keys in hand and we were off to Lesante, our next home for a short while.
From the moment we walked through the doors the warm welcome and kindness engulfed us. I knew this was going to be another memorable place and it was. The beauty that surrounded us on this trip could not be put into words just felt and seen.
Our room was surrounded by a vineyard. Gardens growing their own fruits and vegetables for serving and meals. We were surrounded by life all around us. It was a magical property.
Right before our time in Greece ended we were able to experience the island and beaches from a different angle, the water. That’s right, I said it. We saw the island in all its glory from the water. This time I wasn’t as frightened. I knew this was the only way to check off items from my bucket list.
We were able to see the electric blue light from beneath the water in the caves. One cave had the biggest clams I’ve ever seen. From there the boat picked up speed. Cool blue water softly sprayed our face and cooled us as we made our way to Shipwreck Beach known as Navagio Beach. This was a big check off my list and I was super excited.
This is an exposed cove, which is also referred to as “Smugglers Cove,” on the coast of Zakynthos, in the Ionian Islands of Greece.
Story goes that the ship was carrying contraband heading from Turkey for Italy when a storm hit. The ship’s engine blew and the visibility was almost nonexistent. While the ship ran aground in the cove, the crew abandoned her to evade arrests and punshipment from the Navy. The only way to visit Shipwreck Beach is by boat.
As we moved away from Shipwreck our driver Leo brought us to a secluded little beach of our own. We jumped off the boat into the water and enjoyed a swim as the boat anchored until we were done. We swam to the beach to explore a bit before swimming back to our boat. Anchors pulled up and the motor began. The cool blues splashed us again which made my cheeks tingle and I couldn’t help but smile. Once we were further in the deep the motor turned off and we coasted for a while. I looked out and couldn’t believe the beauty around me. The sun was blistering but the breeze off the water made it just perfect. The warmth on my face and the beauty that surrounded us couldn’t have made that moment any more remarkable but then I looked to my left, and there he was. The man that made this all possible. My life’s partner. My soulmate. I couldn’t believe we were there.
It was one of my wishlist gifts. What a way to celebrate my 50th. What a way to celebrate us soon to be 16 years married.
This island exploration was coming to an end and we had to say our goodbyes. Although a goodbye was in order, what we experienced here will forever be with us as we continue our journey.
I do believe a little part of me remains in the blue caves and a little all around the islands. That’s my way of always staying close.
Ευχαριστώ και αντίο Ελλάδα!
One last surprise before we returned home. A quick stop in London. With our plane connecting in London but it was going to be too long of a wait. Asher decided one more surprise was in order. I knew we were staying over but didn’t know what the rest of the surprise would be until the taxi pulled in front of the hotel and I was let out of the taxi. At first I hadn’t noticed where exactly we were until I looked down at the welcoming mat and immediately popped my head up to the front of the building. I was in such a surprise I couldn’t believe it. I immediately turned to Asher with the biggest smile on my face while my eyes sparkled with excitement.
We were staying at The Cadogan in London.
You may be thinking it’s just another hotel and in fact it is to most but to me it’s a bit more.
A short story, if I am capable of that.
Many years ago before my twins were born I worked for a hedge fund in the city for quite a very long time. When we opened an office in London, anyone who flew there stayed at The Cadogan. I stayed there a few times when I was in London on business. But sadly Asher and I were never in London at the same time. I was unhappy the last time I stayed at The Cadogan because my stay had to be extended and I was sad to be away even longer. I remember that day with my eyes tightly closed, I wished that he would be there with me. I thought my wish would never come true until now.
He actually made it possible for us to be in London at the same time and together at The Cadogan.
The Cadogan. I couldn’t believe it. Here we were standing in the lobby of the hotel sharing our story with the front staff. Sharing our memories of the hotel but sad all the best features were no longer there. During Covid the hotel shut down and was purchased by Louis Vuitton and renovated. The one of a kind oldest round elevator that stood in the middle of the lobby was gone.
Things definitely changed but the feeling I felt looking around the lobby and finding the man I promised to love for the rest of my life remained the same. The love I felt for him at that moment will be the imprint in my heart that I needed.
He did all of this for me. He researched. He peaked at my Greece wishlist. He made many of my wishes come true. He did all of it to make my 50th birthday the most memorable birthday I will ever experience. He made it a memory not for the fear I felt of turning 50 but for the beautiful loving moments that lead me here. Lead us here.
What can I say for the month of June? Each day was passing and getting me closer to my birthday. I had anxiety and waves of panic about turning 50.
All the promises I made to myself for my 50th were falling apart and my promises were slowly crumbling. One was to lose the weight I gained quite easily during the peri days and with the lack of motivation nothing was falling into place. I felt like I let myself down and therefore let others down.
I always put the most pressure on myself and that knocks me down even further. I never could shake that. It’s drilled into my thought process but I’m trying to get better.
So let’s see, those who truly know me know that I don’t like surprise parties or having too much attention on me. I was the girl that never wanted to open gifts in front of anyone and didn’t like people singing happy birthday to me. I always felt bad about that because I know how much people want to sing and make you happy. In fact, I love doing that for others and hosting. It makes me feel good inside knowing I can bring joy and happiness to another person. I understand that joy so I feel horrible feeling the way I do about that. I haven’t changed even as I grow older each year that seems to stay the same.
But I made a few dear friends this past school year and they treated me extra special leading up to my birthday.
It all started with a PA appreciation dinner which was such a sweet gesture and treat. We got to have dinner out with the group that helped each other during the school year. It was a special thank you. We had many laughs and great conversations. Not to mention a creepy lady photographer making us pose in interesting ways all to sell us framed photos. Which of course was purchased as a memory of the 2023-2024 school year.
During this wonderful dinner the lights would flash and loud birthday music would kick on. I was frantic and my cheeks felt warm until the staff walked to another table. I felt relieved but each time that happened I got a little nervous. The meal was almost over and all of the sudden the music kicked back on once more with the sounds of waiters singing coming in my direction. I couldn’t help but stare at the wall while turning beet red. They got me. This crew really got me. I know it was kind of them so I tried my best to go with it. They are a great group of women and I am lucky that I had them to share another year of middle school.
The emotions continued with the 7th grade BBQ celebration, followed by the last snack sale of the year, and saying good-bye to our 8th graders. I was humbled by the kind words I received by students with some asking permission to give me a hug. The words, “I will miss you” made me feel so appreciated.
And just like that the last day of school was here. It was time to say good-bye to some amazing staff and 8th grade parents who will be moving on to a new school with their kids.
At the same time realizing my 7th grade beautiful miracles will be entering 8th grade. It will be their final year at Twain all this happening on the day I turned 50.
It’s been an emotional roller coaster. From highs to lows and everything in between. I feel as though we just started our tour for middle school and now we will be entering 8th. Very soon we will begin the high school process along with the stress that comes with it.
I’m afraid to blink as so much will change when I reopen my eyes.
And just like that, the school year ended and I turned 50. I guess it’s not as bad as I thought. As for the promises to myself, it can still happen.
I feel like I’ve been dropping the ball lately. There are so many wonderful things going on and that have gone on. There are definitely a few not so great things but we will focus on the ones that keep us smiling and moving forward. As for the rest, I will privately reflect and get better.
Let’s see, we had Giovanni’s playoff baseball game which he rocked, causing the team to go into extra innings by tying at the bottom of the last inning with two outs, two strikes and no one on base. He got on first, stole 2nd, 3rd, and came home, scoring the tying run bringing the game into extra innings. Although his team lost, we made up several runs and kept the game alive. I LOVE baseball and enjoy watching it so much but watching my son play and hearing his name being cheered by his team and families filled my eyes with tears. I’m so proud of him. He definitely was MVP of that game and of my heart.
From cheering and on the edge of your seat excitement of the playoff game we made our way to see the graceful, beautiful beats, modern dance, and flowing ballet of Cobble Hill Ballet. Isannah had two wardrobe changes and two performances at the theater and man were they amazing.
Each year Isannah performs, whether it’s the Nutcracker or her Spring Shows she leaves me in awe. Absolutely speechless from her poised and graceful performances. I’ve watched her grow each year on stage. Each year she gets stronger and stronger. Her improvement can not be explained on paper but watched through each movement she makes. She is truly breathtaking and I am so honored and proud to be able to see it all.
The effort and dedication these two put into what they love fills me with joy.
We also celebrated birthdays on birthdays. Too many to list. We celebrated the lives of family and friends.
NJHS ceremony and recognition. School field trips, and many volunteering experiences. 7th grade has been quite the year. Getting to know moms through our PA volunteering has been a blessing. I met some really loving women that I hold dear to me. Friendships made this year have been rewarding. We were even gifted a dinner to celebrate all the hardwork and dedication the PA puts into our school. It was a night of laughs, stories, and gratitude. Another night that is placed in the book of happiness and growth.
We can’t forget the Gilmore Girls mother daughter trip we experienced together. I personally always wanted to explore the small town feel of a real Stars Hollow like in the series but never had someone to share it with until now. I introduced Gilmore Girls to my daughter and she was hooked as I was all those years ago. From the first episode the bond we were making was becoming even stronger with each episode. It was a story and a journey I wanted her to experience. There were heartbreaking string pulling teaching moments and happy beautifully executed love, hope, encouragement, and friendship moments. All in one it was the best part of education on life and the bond of a mother and daughter. This is what I was and am sharing with my daughter.
We enjoyed take out in our room at the Inn. Stayed at the most perfect place. Enjoyed the town’s center, the green, the gazebo and more. We checked off every box on this beautiful trip. It was about our exploration together of the tv show we love so much. A weekend I will never forget.
Last night was our last episode of the series. The cries were loud and the hurt of saying good bye once more was felt as strongly as the first time and for Isannah her first time was now. It’s hard to let go of a series you bonded, learned, and became friends with every character but as all things this too had to end.
Fear not though, A Year In The Life is ready to be watched. Isannah is lucky that she didn’t have to wait 10+ years for that much needed continuation. Now to mentally prepare for each and final episodes once more before the Gilmore Girls tour is over but in our hearts will always remain.
We have so much more but there is much to do as another school year will end in just a few days.
Thank you for walking on this journey with me and through every moment we’ve shared together.
“Today I asked my body what she needed, Which is a big deal Considering my journey of Not Really Asking That Much. I thought she might need more water. Or protein. Or greens. Or sleep. Or supplements. Or movement.
But as I stood in the shower Reflecting on her stretch marks, Her roundness where I would like flatness, Her softness where I would like firmness, All those conditioned wishes That form a bundle of Never-Quite-Right-Ness,
She whispered very gently: Could you just love me like this?”
I read this today and thought how hard that really is. It’s so easy to love others from your children, husband, family, and friends. It’s easier to give advice to those you truly love and give it freely when they need it most but when it comes to yourself. Well, that seems the hardest.
Why is it that the amazing helpful advice you give others doesn’t apply to you when it should?
How is it so hard to look at yourself and smile most of the times?
I always wish that my children and those I truly love could see themselves through my eyes because then they would know how truly beautiful and special they are. But when I look at myself with those same eyes I don’t see that worth or that light.
Sometimes it just all hurts and it’s hard even when the people around you bring so much love and hope into your life.
This past weekend I got to experience something I never thought possible.
Let me start by saying a book came alive to me. I felt every emotion and traveled beyond the words of the story. Mostly because it was true. The feelings of happiness, sadness, loss, but through it all hope. Because of love, hope and faith remained.
I listened to the stories of those along the way and felt as though I was witnessing it all for myself. I knew once the story was over I had to find my own journey by visiting the place it all began. The pull I felt through each page led me in a direction I soon had to take.
It was something I felt I needed to do either alone or with a friend that could understand all that I was going through. Someone that could share my journey with me. I was lucky to have one that wanted to experience it too.
In order to understand what I was feeling she had to read the book and she did. We spoke about the many firsts we would both go through together.
It had been so long since I traveled alone. My children are 12 and I haven’t traveled alone since I was pregnant so this was a big step for me. My friend never flew on her own so this was a first for her as well.
The journey began with a letter. A letter I began writing to myself to try and put into words all the things I have been feeling and tried to put on paper the memories, most were lost, that I could remember. I was taken to a place that I blocked years of my life I couldn’t remember and still can’t. I did my best to sit and search within myself which was difficult. I stopped writing on many occasions because things felt too hard. I realized I had more gaps than I thought which made me feel lost.
Each time I was ready to try again, a little more came to light. My friend and I finished our letters at the beach house. That meant we were ready to make our journey to Kindred Spirit. A mailbox located on Bird Island tucked away in the sand dunes but visible along the beach the closer you reached it. There were two benches on each side of the mailbox. Benches that people could sit and read the letters, journals, and postcards people placed in the mailbox. Some were so painful you had to take a moment before reading it again. Some were sharing happiness, and some were encouraging, uplifting, and reminding you that you are amazing. All the letters I read touched me in a different way.
Let me rewind a little. When my friend and I got to the mailbox there was an elderly lady writing in the journal. She was so sad. You can see the pain on her face and the hurt throughout her body language. When she was done writing she placed the notebook in the mailbox and began talking to my friend and I. She told us about her son that died an hour and 10 minutes after he left her house to buy her a birthday gift as that day was her birthday. My friend and I couldn’t help but cry along with her and try to be there as best as we could. After she walked away trying to find answers and looking for signs of her son in seashells or anything she could hold on to.
I opened the mailbox and began reading her letter. Let’s just say my insides caved in with pain.
Once we were done reading letters and reflecting, we made our way back down to the beach in the direction of our beach house. Along our walk we were approached by people asking if we knew where the mailbox was or if we had seen it. We proudly said yes and directed them to Kindred Spirit. So many people are making their way there. Wanting to share their story. It felt so beautiful knowing we were part of their journey in some way.
We did it. I couldn’t believe it. We created another moment in time and we did it together.
Thank you Melissa for sharing this experience. This adventure with me.
Today did not go as planned because of the steady rainfall that at times dumped on your head like buckets of cold water but that won’t stop us. Gio and Isa’s Miracles is still holding strong and we will continue to fund raise and come together once again.
I want to take a moment to recognize someone that has been there for me from day one of when team Gio and Isa’s Miracles was created. She has been a constant every year. Standing beside me and carrying our team when it was small or large she was there. She always reaches out and always stays in touch. No matter what is going on in the world or what could stop us from forming, she is there. She creates beautiful signs, brings fun things and joins in all the games and fun with Giovanni and Isannah. When they were small she always had them laughing and staying busy and as they grew she never pulled away. She is always there. She is my aunt Cat and Giovanni’s Godmother. She’s my other half in many things.
There is someone else that stands by me and has been by me since it all began. Came to my rescue when I felt I was drowning and burying myself during the tough times alone at home with two babies on apnea monitors, one colic, and one that always wanted to stay awake. My mom has been my best friend and life support through it all. Days I would call her hysterically crying while she was at work and she would leave to come straight to me.
I have many incredible women in my life and I feel blessed. My cousins and aunts that have joined us for our walks, I thank you. Sometimes once or alternating each year, there is always family standing by us.
Thank you for always sharing my spirit to keep Giovanni and Isannah’s life continuing strong and honored.
To all those who donate, give support, and put up with my many posts, emails, and tags during this time, I thank you.
As 2022 comes to an end I wanted to take this time to thank all those in my life that have been there. Those that, no matter what life throws our way, make time to check in. I want to thank my amazing small circle, just knowing they are there helps me breathe easy and allows me to smile. No matter the time that passes in which we don’t talk or see each other, I know they are there and that’s what matters. This year as many years in the past had its ups and downs. I’m thankful that we got through any of our downs. I know they are still coming but focusing on the good and learning from the bad keeps us strong. I wish I had more time in a day to see all those that mean so much to me, but as life takes us on different journeys we miss opportunities but we gain hope and love that we will find a path that leads us together. We’ve had loss and new blessings with each birth that blessed us. Through tears of sadness then tears of joy, we experience it all. Sometimes together or sometimes alone in silence. There are so many things I would like to express but there’s not enough time nor space so I will leave it here. Get ready to begin a new year. Here’s to hoping we continue our search. Continue our path to life with all its emotions. We are here now so let’s celebrate all that we have and all we can share.
In the past few weeks I was able to see family and in just the past few days shared new adventures with Giovanni and Isannah like I did when they were small. And the best part is we got to share some of those memorable moments with some of the best people in our life. Thank you! Thank you 2022 for opening my eyes to things I was missing. For helping me get a little stronger and for teaching me that things will pass and do.
To all those who added a little something on my journey, thank you! You know who you are and I am blessed I have an amazing support system.
As the whirlwood of the weekend fades away I am able to finally process it all and put pen to paper. Well, fingertips to keys. This weekend was Nutcracker weekend for Isannah and she was beaming with excitement. All her hard work and dedication led up to this moment. From her Saturday rehearsals to her long run throughs it all came together this Saturday with her first show.
She danced throughout the house any chance she had to move. From leg raises to the leaps and twirls, she did it all. Ever gracefully dancing around any room she entered just to practice.
She loves doing what she does and she loves ballet. This past weekend was what it was all about. She was ready!
As always, I had a ticket for each one of her shows. I couldn’t imagine not being in the audience or not supporting her in every way. The only difference was this year was the first year I volunteered to help backstage. I was nervous at first but as I went to my station my shoulders relaxed and I felt at ease knowing I was right where I needed to be. Being backstage opened my eyes to a new view of the show. Watching the rehearsals and seeing all the kids rush and get dressed. Asking for adjustments and help with costumes. The giggles and excitement was apparent in all they did. After helping with costumes and hair, it was time for me to make my way to my seat. Right when I got there the lights dimmed twice alerting the audience that the show was about to begin. Then the lights slowly went down and the stage lit up. I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with emotions.
As each vignette began I reflected on all the past parts Isannah had. When the mice made their way to the stage I imagined Isannah as a baby in that group of little faces. I remembered the enthusiasm she had knowing she had a part in the Nutcracker. She was a mouse years ago when it all began. I remembered how enthusiastic she was to be a part of it. As I watched the show her baby face disappeared and I was brought back to this moment. Seeing her face in each past roll that made their way to the stage made me feel the same as the first. The anticipation knowing she would be up in just a few more dances had me on the edge of my seat. And then the all too familiar music began to play and there she was. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I watched as she gracefully moved around the stage. Her arms were perfect and the positions beautiful. Through tear filled eyes I watched as my baby girl was no longer a baby. She was a beautiful tall and strong ballerina. The song ended and she made her way off the stage. I just sat back in admiration of her.
I saw the show a total of 4 times that weekend and each time I felt the same. She was amazing. From her facial expressions to her emotions with each move she made, I was in silent wonderment.
The amazing teachers and staff at Cobble Hill Ballet make it all happen every year. They are wonderful and so are all the kids big and small. Thank you for all the direction, support, and spark that started Isannah’s adoration of the ballet.
I love this girl of mine. Leap and fly as high and far as the wind carries you. I’m so proud of you.
