How to say goodbye while still living and moving on

Today I received an update about my friend’s cousin. I’ve been praying for her and her family ever since I found out that her cousin’s two daughters 12 and 9 were hospitalized for COVID. Her cousin (the mother) didn’t think she and her 12 year old needed to get vaccinated right away because her and the girls had healthy immune systems and never got sick so she pushed it off. Now she is regretting that decision watching both her daughters intubated in ICU. For two weeks now things didn’t look good. Yesterday they had to say goodbye to her 12 year old daughter Marisol because she lost her fight and became unresponsive. Her 9 year old is still in the ICU. Please help me in praying for Sonia. Please God give her the strength to keep fighting and get well enough to go home to her family. Please keep the Longoria family in your prayers. They need all the prayers and healing thoughts they can receive.

I’m so sad having to type this. My emotions are all over the place. I am trying so hard to smile and stay positive for my kids. Each day I wake up thankful that my children are safe, healthy and well. That I am able to hold them, see them smile and even get mad. See them grow and experience life good or bad. They are here with me, with us and I am so grateful. Each night I go to bed thanking God and praying for allowing me to have this. All that we experienced that day. 

I am thankful that I have a husband that loves us so much that he researches endlessly, reads so much and keeps us up to date with all that is going on. He pushes me to always do what is right for our family. He gives me the courage and strength I need when I feel depleted. 

I am so thankful that we were able to get vaccinated not only me but my husband, my parents and my sister. All that matters is that we are a little safer and we make it a little safer for those around us. 

I personally have lost a few people because of COVID and I don’t want to lose any more. We’ve witnessed so much loss all around us not only to COVID but the loss felt so greatly because we are in this scary time. Families that are losing people, my friends, can’t celebrate the life of their loved ones and mourn them surrounded by family because everything is limited to help keep the spread of COVID down. In the past year my beautiful and dear friend has lost family members and not to COVID. My dear friend lost her innocent, beautiful and kind daughter. A miracle and now she is not here. My friend lost her brother and just recently another friend lost her father, her best friend. Just a few days ago another friend lost her husband.

This life has brought us so much pain. Heightened our fear and questioned our faith. As hard as it seems, it has also brought us love, joy and happiness. It has made us smile even though we are crying. It has lifted our spirits when they were so low. It has shown us there is still a way. 

Everything around us shows us how much we still have and how tight we need to hold on to it. Life still needs to be lived and continued. Even though pieces of us are breaking and some days the pain seems unbearable, we need to look around us and see those still here and cherish those lives and continue to go on so you are not missing the next steps.

As hard as it is, we go on but that doesn’t mean the ones we lost are no longer with us because we carry them in our hearts. We carry them in the memories we created with them. We hold on to it all and move forward. 

Praying for all my friends and their families. I’m carrying them all with me. May God continue to give us the strength we need to face a new day.

Dedicated to you. To love. To us.

And here we are, year 13. Celebrating all the moments that brought us here.

Through good and bad, happy and sad, we’ve had them all and will continue to grow strong. You are the first person I think of when anything happens to me, good or bad. You are the one that I want by my side and need to keep my head above water. You’re the one that makes me smile and sometimes makes me cry but you are the one that I want and always will. I can’t imagine a day without you with me and I never want to. I can’t do any of this without you.

When you gently place your hand on my knee while we are driving or hold my hand just because you may not see it or know but my body melts and my heart is whole. When I look over and see you there no matter where we are or what craziness is going on in our lives I know I’m safe because you are right there. I wish you could see through my eyes and know just how happy, secure and loved you make me feel. Until then all I can do is remind you every day just how much you are loved. You are needed and you are all of me but most importantly the best part of me.

Thank you for loving me with all my many faults. Thank you for giving of you to me and thank you for not giving up on me, on us.

Happy 13 and to many more of this. All of it, you and me, where we started and where we will end. Our love story. 08.10.2008

Thank you, my love. Happy Anniversary ❤