Life is a beautiful gift we are given to live the best way we can with gratitude, love, care, kindness, appreciation in your heart and mind. This gift although fragile is strong in many ways. Please do not dwell on what could have been or fear what will be. Don’t fill your heart with hate and jealousy but with love and kindness. So many people want to hurt you because they are hurting. Understand that and move forward. Don’t let them bring your loving heart down to their pain. You can help them through it. Lift them up even though they are trying to bring you down, and if it doesn’t work carry yourself with the love and respect that God gives all of us. It’s how YOU handle what is given to you rather than what someone else says to be true. Believe in you.
Walking arm and arm with my mom today was the most emotionally beautiful feeling. She stood strong and tried to keep that welcoming smile on her face even though I knew her thoughts were heavy. We were surrounded by students, faculty, parents and friends fighting to keep Bishop Ford open. Fighting for a common goal to keep a home to many open. My mom worked there for over ten years. When asked she took overtime. When ordered she smiled and did what was told of her. She never complained only helped in any way she could and now they are closing without warning, explanation and heart. Today was just another reason why hope and faith gets harder but no matter how far we are pushed we need to hold on to any belief we have that things get better.
As we took our final walk around the school, our arms locking even tighter. We just stood looked at each other and then heard the sweet voice of the schools choir. Everything seems so real and I hid my tears so mom wouldn’t see. I am so proud of my mom for all she is and all she does. From the light that shines within her and spread within me.
I hope she knows I will always stand right by her side as she’s always stood by mine.
When you have kids they say you make new friends. You bring your kids to different activities, classes, events and school so you begin to see the same faces. Parents dropping off their kids or enjoying a class together. You exchange smiles and pleasantries but then a lot of the time it stops there. It takes a lot for me to open myself up and let anyone in but you try to do just that. Sometimes it works and sometimes it makes you shrivel up and close the door even tighter.
Moving is hard no matter where you started or where you came from. My home to me will always be Brooklyn. That is where I was born and celebrated my younger years. I also made some of my closest friends during that time. Although we moved away early on my heart has always been here. Now that doesn’t mean that during my travels I haven’t met amazing friends, I surely have. It just means my feet always want to land here. A move is hard especially for a person that is shy and doesn’t put themselves out there. I always thought, Why should I? When you are hurt a number of times your door closes tighter and your confidence all but diminishes. It takes a lot to undo what was done.
This morning as I was taking my kids to school I saw familiar faces so I smiled at each face. It was hard for me because my mind was feeling a little heavy this morning but that didn’t stop me from trying. I found that not everyone wants a smile in the morning. It almost felt as though I was bothering some and that made it harder for me to keep my smile. Once I dropped off the kids my mind drifted to my time in Texas. I realized that as much as I wanted to leave there I miss it. Well, let me rephrase that. I miss the friends I made there. I wish there was a way you could gather them all up and take them wherever you go. I mean, I know I do just that in memories and in my heart but I miss the physical being. That being said, I tried to open up myself again to people around me. I convinced myself that not everyone is out to hurt you or to hurt people. You need to open yourself up to the world so that you can receive amazing gifts.
I met a couple of new parents within the past few days that are truly kind. I’m happy I didn’t allow myself to be discouraged once again by the negative. Even though this will be a slow process it’s a stage in your life like everything else. It’s how we allow ourselves to experience it and move forward. Hoping to do that with kind people that will help me grow as well as allow me to help them. It’s great when you share a common goal and for me that is to love unconditionally. Help my children grow up to be the best people they can be. Along with teaching them not to give up, be strong and ALWAYS believe in yourself even when you feel like you lost your way. Surround yourself with people that lift you up and allow you to shine. That love your smile so that no matter how you feel that smile brightens up the day.