Kids are in their cribs and I turn on the nursery monitor to watch Gio toss and turn like he does every night. All of the sudden I hear loud noises coming from upstairs. I look back at the monitor to see Gio sitting up in his crib while flailing his arms. I turn on the monitor sound to hear Gio loudly singing, “I woke up in a firetruck” while making the siren sounds. In the background I hear Isa yelling, TOO LOUD. I can’t help but giggle. Then I laugh hysterically because this continues for another 15 minutes. This was the laughter my entire body needed today. Thank goodness for this pair. They definitely closed the night with something I was missing all day. A smile.
As I walked home from a sweet coffee break I began to look around at all the people walking around the neighborhood. They were all going in different directions and each had a group. I felt like I was invisible and just floating through each group conversation. No matter where I turned I saw a clique. Each had their own personality, dress, and language. There were even those that fell behind in a group with a sadness on their face just trying to catch up. Whatever the clique, it caused me to go back and reflect on my younger years and then frantically to now as I thought of my children and where their journey would take them. I prayed at that moment that Gio and Isa would be themselves no matter the clique. That they would be kind not only to the person they are but to others. That they respect themselves and those around them and no matter what others say that they will be strong in their own opinion. My mind came back to the present and I picked up more conversations within cliques that I floated around and heard laughter towards a group of girls just trying to fit in. I saw discomfort and concern on the face of one of the girls that was pretending to agree. She seemed bothered by what the rest of the group was saying but yet she said nothing. I looked at her and tried to force a soft smile as to tell her what she feels is ok and she should voice her opinion. Instead she turned away and pretended to laugh at the horrible jokes the group was saying.
I felt my mood change slightly and a heavy weight fell upon my shoulders. I slowly made my way home but not before that same girl grabbed my wrist and said, “I know you heard what we were saying but know that I told my friends that we should stop making fun of people we didn’t know.” She said that this is why I’m here and no longer there. She continued by saying, “I guess standing up for what you believe doesn’t always keep your friends.” I told her when you stand up for what you believe, your friends are the one’s standing right along with you for support. If they aren’t there they were never your friends to begin with. That doesn’t mean you can’t disagree and have difference of opinions, it just means that your true friend will always support you or catch you when you fall. She actually said, thank you and ran to catch the train. I felt the heaviness on my shoulders lift and carry away. I stopped for a moment to take in what just happened and then giggled to myself. I guess it was my way of releasing all the emotions I felt when she grabbed my wrist. I definitely could of turned swinging from the wrist grab but there was something calming that kept me grounded. I began walking home smiling the entire way.
When I got home, I opened the front door to find Gio and Isa matching the smile on my face. What a way to walk in a home. May the smiles that surround us creep into your home and heart. Happy Friday!
Sometimes a conversation is all you need to calm the memories that come fluttering in. It’s your way of understanding and respecting your hearts feelings to continue on your life’s journey.
My parents are over and eating dinner with the kids. Gio is not feeling so well as he’s had the sniffles all day and really no appetite . He decides that apples and peanut butter would make him feel better. He looks at me and asks me so sweetly if he can have some. Before running to get them for him (which is really what I wanted to do) I told him he would need to eat one more rice in order to get the apples and peanut butter. My little cutie picked up one grain of rice, held it between his two fingers to be sure we all saw it, and with a huge smile on his face placed it in his mouth. He immediately told me he ate ONE rice. We all looked at each other and began laughing. It really was my fault. He did exactly what I asked even though I meant another fork full of rice and not just one. He was still smiling as everyone continued laughing. I wanted to just eat him all up. My clever little man. He sure did receive apples and peanut butter along with a bunch of kisses and a little cheek squeeze too.
Sometimes it’s harder to just let it go than to hold on.
It’s a memory fluttering day. Each one is making me smile so I reach out my hands to catch them all and keep them safe. Enjoying the memories that fill my day. Take a moment to find yours and just let your body smile.
I was talking to a friend of mine today on the street when a few parents she knew walked in our direction. They stopped to exchange hellos and some pleasantries until someone mentioned wrinkles. My friend began to say that she noticed several more wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. Before my friend could finish the conversation a lady from the group immediately said it was her own fault. I looked surprised as I glared in her direction to listen to the words that would follow. My friend was also surprised and asked what she meant. Without hesitation the lady told her, it was because she laughed too much. My wheels were spinning. How can a person laugh too much, I thought. I kept my mouth shut just to give this person the opportunity to speak kinder words and clarify but boy was I wrong. She continued telling my friend that the more she laughed the more she would ruin her face. Adding that she could see it had already begun. I looked at her almost wrinkle free face and moved closer to my friend. I could see my friends shoulders slouch as the look of embarrassment came across her face. This lady began talking about how she has next to no wrinkles because she keeps a steady face and my friend should try it some time. At this point I heard enough. I didn’t care who she was or how good of a friend she was to my friend, but I couldn’t let her emotionally abuse her. Of course, me and my big mouth had to intervene. I looked first straight at that lady then immediately at my friend. I told her it was perfectly fine to smile and laugh as much as she could. That it is one of the best sounds to hear. That no matter what this person said her wrinkles showed the world all the joys and love she experienced and that was beautiful. I told my friend that each line represented an emotion, a memory, a time in her life that she experienced and that made her grow even more beautiful than she already was. This lady huffed as I was talking to my friend which only made me smile.
What is wrong with people? If you want to live a wrinkle free, detached, no feeling life than that is your choice but do not criticize those who want to feel all the joys life has to offer. Life is filled with many things, it’s up to us to embrace it. Take it all in and just be. We all have our own journey to live. Live it the best way you know how. Love unconditionally, laugh until your cheeks hurt so much you cry, and NEVER let anyone take your joy away from you. So we get a few wrinkles in the process, it only means you lived.
As for the stone cold person, I was sure to laugh so loudly that those surrounding us had to turn and smile because they felt the joys laughter can bring. A smile is contagious, let’s spread it around!
Today my daughter turned to me with her sweet kind eyes and soft smile to say, “mommy, polish my nails please.” I couldn’t say no this time. I asked her what color she wanted and she said, “pink.” I looked right at her and told her I would. She beamed from ear to ear and gave me the biggest hug ever. I was on a mission to locate pink polish in our home and found just the perfect one for my baby, I mean little big girl. She saw the polish in my hand and began to smile even bigger. I rushed over to her and began polishing first her fingernails and then her toenails. She couldn’t contain her excitement as she kept looking at each finger I painted over and over with a smile. As I was painting each nail I made sure to explain to her that she needed to let the nails dry before touching anything. She sat really still but at times would move a slight bit before she realized she wasn’t supposed to move and froze again. Finally when she couldn’t take it any more she turned to me and asked if she could stand up. I told her it was fine for her to move now. She moved only one foot before asking me again if she could take another step. She was so afraid to mess up her nails that she moved so slowly across the floor. She finally made it to the section of toys that she was eyeing from across the room. Once she got there she just stood still and stared at them. The expression on her face was priceless. It was as though she was having a conversation with her toys with her mind and not her words. I finally walked over to her touched her nails to test them and she almost cried. She thought I was going to ruin her nails. When I explained I was testing to make sure they were dry so she could play her expression softened. With a smile on my face I confirmed that they were all set. She looked at me, took a deep breath and said, “I love you so much.” She began playing with her toys but every so often she would glance at her fingers and toes just to smile. What a sweet experience. Who thought polish could bring so much emotion and unconditional joy!
Sometimes your mind drifts to places that were once familiar. At that moment you must take a step back and look at what’s in front of you. Remember the past will always be part of you. It brought you to where you are today but if you look too long at the past it may confuse your future. Believe in yourself. Listen not only to your heart but your mind too and remember memories will always carry you through.
May today be the start of little miracles coming true. Little kisses touching your nose. Soft whispers of love blowing in your ears and gentle touches of peace filling your world.