Monthly Archives: August 2014

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Saying goodbye to Bishop Ford

Today begins a new chapter in the lives of many but for one most important person it begins with a heavy heart. Today is the last time my mom will walk through the doors of Bishop Ford. A school that began her new journey back home and started with new adventures filled with new friends, love and heart. She started with one job in that school and ended with three. She dedicated her mornings, afternoons, evenings and sometimes weekends to a school she loved. The sadness that comes with a school unexpectedly closing its doors brings forced closure to many lives. Not only the lives of workers, teachers, staff but to current students and past graduates.

This day proves once again that my mom is the toughest woman I know. Her strength shines in all she does. It’s not always up front but it’s hidden in the many ways she handles every day situations. You can truly learn a lot just by observing a person and I’m thankful to learn the most important tips of life from her.

Although I know this day is heavy in her heart and at any moment tears will rapidly flow, she will do her best to show others she is ready for this change. This is another example of her amazing strength. I only hope she is aware of how amazing she is and how very proud we all are of her. Her accomplishments from the day she came to America from Italy on a ship back in 69 to the present day.

She is a true definition of a mother. Her unselfishness and constant care and love convinced me that love does conquer all. Sometimes I rub on her just to see if that beautiful feeling of motherhood transports into my body so I can be more like her.

For me, I see this as a blessing in disguise for my mother. It’s God’s beautiful way of saying, it’s your turn to relax and take all that you accomplished in and breathe. You worked so hard and although scary and forced, what feels like to soon, is something that was needed for you and your body. She may not see it yet but this will be a beautiful beginning of her.

 

This post is dedicated not only to my mother, my best friend, my angel of guidance on earth but to the hard working staff and students at Bishop Ford that will be forcefully moving on to a new adventure. May today bring beautiful beginnings of new doors opening for all of you.

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Where is that hand?

Sometimes when you feel yourself slipping into a funk you try desperately to reach for that hand that knows just what to do but as close as you feel to it, the distance eats up at you making you feel further away. You look around at the amazing life you took part in creating but no matter the beauty, love and sounds of laughter, the fear that you buried so deep within you always tries to pull you back to that place. It takes everything in you to push it down.

Where is that hand?

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Last day of school

Big day for Giovanni and Isannah today. Who am I kidding, mommy too;-) Last day of school. Time to say goodbye to teachers and friends they met during this school year before starting a new school in September. As I began packing things in my bags from their school during drop off I felt my stomach turn. I stopped and said I would continue the rest during pick up. Isannah’s face said it all and I had to walk out. 

Fast forward to final pick up at school. It was almost time to walk in but for some reason my feet were cemented to the sidewalk a few feet away. My body felt heavy and so did my heart. I finally pushed myself to walk in. More like mad dash to the bathroom because the nerves got to me. As I opened the door I saw kids hugging each other and that’s when my eyes found Giovanni and Isannah all smiles and asking for hugs. They were all so adorable. Asking for hugs and giving group hugs as well. My eyes started to fill with tears but I was still controlling. I gathered the rest of the kids things together while saying good-bye to the teachers. As I turned back Giovanni was back in the classroom trying to get his last good-bye hugs from his friends. It was over. The emotions were taking over and I was thankful to have my mirrored sunglasses to hide the rapidly flowing tears from my eyes so the kids wouldn’t see.

Sadly, the sunglasses couldn’t hide my cracking voice as I was trying to get the kids out of school. The final good-byes were said and my two beautifully kind, loving, empathetic kids were leading me to the door. What an emotionally joy filled day.

Next was ice-cream which we all enjoyed to celebrate another milestone. Here’s to new beginnings!

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Your timeline

When you were young you planned stages in your life. You drew out a timeline. When you would marry. The age you would have your first child, second and so on. You painted this picture in your head of the life you knew you wanted. But as you got older the years passed and your timeline seemed to change. You weren’t where you always planned you would be. You began to worry and pushed yourself in decisions you wouldn’t normally make but did so because of panic and fear. Things began falling apart and the heart breaks hurt so much more. Your energy was falling and your heart was weakening all because you weren’t making the unrealistic timeline you created for yourself. This is when the stages of disappointment played into your life. Starting with regret, fear, uncertainty which was followed by feeling like you were not meant to be loved, happy or wanted.

You convinced yourself that you did something wrong and this caused you to second guess every decision moving forward. I’m sure there are several other emotions I can mention but I believe the message is conveyed here. You reached a point where all you could do is let go. Let go of the heavy weight you’ve been carrying and just be.

Allow yourself to live each day as the gift it is. Allow yourself to love YOU again. To be the person you buried deep down inside and believe in yourself once more. Once you are able to get “you” back you are ready to move forward. To live with love in your heart. It helped me begin a new journey. One with an open mind, heart and arms. Ready to fill all with life.

I know the realization to get to that point is a challenge but once you are here you realize you have your entire life to start living again.

I know I do. I wish the same for all of you!