It’s been a day(s) filled with many emotions. I can’t understand how in one second you can be unbelievably happy and in the next the sadness you feel is like heat burning your chest from your heart crumbling. With each falling piece you feel the weight of life slipping and it’s hard to breathe. I felt that on and off today and much of last night. The in between, I was reminded of how beautiful life is. My sister cousin got married today and her wedding reminded me of the happiness that remains. Although we feel sadness and feel like our hope is slipping away there is something like today that tells me to keep the faith. Watching her smile, laugh, dance and just look absolutely beautiful in her dress pulled at my cheeks and helped me raise them in celebration of life. She was starting a new journey as husband and wife and we were there to witness the kind beauty.
Although I lost someone dear to me, I was reminded of all the amazing times I had with her and felt pretty damn lucky to be able to hold on to those memories. That doesn’t mean there’s not a void and sadness, it means that I will try my hardest to fill it with the happiness we shared.
Being surrounded by family was just what I needed.
Happy 37th Birthday today up in Heaven to my dear friend of strength, courage, life and love. The stars are shining brighter tonight.