While the kids napped I went out for a moment to run an errand. I bumped into an old acquaintance along the way. But before I could even greet her hello she started talking about everything that was wrong in her life and how she wished she could be and look more like me or anyone else walking in front of us. I told her as I tell so many others that come to me with the same complaint. We each have our own problems and demons that we need to work out. Just because someone is smiling on the outside or looks put together doesn’t mean they are not going through something too. It just means they are doing their best to keep positive for everyone else while dealing with the issues they face inside daily. Your life is your own. You must treat it in a way that will make you happy. Fill yourself up with hope, love and peace. These things are beautiful once you learn to accept and live them. We are all unique in our own crazy ways. I’ll be the first to admit that I beat myself up about a lot of things. Even things as stupid as gaining a few pounds, or not keeping my weight down as I promised myself, or petty things like my looks. Then there are the bigger things that I feel like I fail at when others see differently. As I said we each have our demons but that doesn’t mean you are not special. You were made the way God intended. You need to appreciate and accept it and realize there are so many others worse than you. And yet they see the good and come to understand they too are where they are supposed to be. I tried to open her eyes to all she has in her life besides the failures but it was like talking to an ocean wind that keeps catching your breath and forces you to try to breathe again before doing it all over again. In the middle of it all, my thoughts drifted to times sitting with my Nonna and holding her hand. Trying to make her understand how much we all love her and how soon she would be well enough to leave the rehabilitation center and go back to her remolded home. As my friend talked I kept thinking of Nonna and how she never had the chance to go back home. It made me feel like I failed her and she left us not knowing all the beauty that was around her. She was full of life and loved so deeply. Man did she have jokes and a spunky personality. At that moment I snapped back to my friend and told her to stop. I explained that we have so much around us to be thankful for and we should enjoy the beauty that surrounds us. Life is not forever and we need to make what we can out of the time we are given. I felt like my Nonna gave me the strength and wisdom (again) to show her how much she is loved and I think at that moment she was with us both. My friend hugged me and said she understood. As I watched her go down the stairs to the subway I realized that I needed the pep talk more than she did. I no longer saw her but I sure felt my Nonna in the breeze.