When you were young you planned stages in your life. You drew out a timeline. When you would marry. The age you would have your first child, second and so on. You painted this picture in your head of the life you knew you wanted. But as you got older the years passed and your timeline seemed to change. You weren’t where you always planned you would be. You began to worry and pushed yourself in decisions you wouldn’t normally make but did so because of panic and fear. Things began falling apart and the heart breaks hurt so much more. Your energy was falling and your heart was weakening all because you weren’t making the unrealistic timeline you created for yourself. This is when the stages of disappointment played into your life. Starting with regret, fear, uncertainty which was followed by feeling like you were not meant to be loved, happy or wanted.

You convinced yourself that you did something wrong and this caused you to second guess every decision moving forward. I’m sure there are several other emotions I can mention but I believe the message is conveyed here. You reached a point where all you could do is let go. Let go of the heavy weight you’ve been carrying and just be.

Allow yourself to live each day as the gift it is. Allow yourself to love YOU again. To be the person you buried deep down inside and believe in yourself once more. Once you are able to get “you” back you are ready to move forward. To live with love in your heart. It helped me begin a new journey. One with an open mind, heart and arms. Ready to fill all with life.

I know the realization to get to that point is a challenge but once you are here you realize you have your entire life to start living again.

I know I do. I wish the same for all of you!

Today I want to say, thank you for all the love and support of family and friends. A few days ago I was reminded of how fragile life is. Whether it was through my own life or a life close to my heart, it’s a reminder that life is a gift and we have to cherish every moment we are given. It is important to love unconditionally, receive love whole heartedly and just be open to the miracles that surround us even though we fear the loss of those miracles. We don’t know what each day will bring and although beautiful and happy, it’s also scary and confusing. No matter how heavy we feel. How confused we are. We need to believe that his will is greater and he will take us through it all. A lot of tears will be shed and may continue to fall until the end of our journey here but remembering what you have, had and loved can carry us to another day.
Things don’t always make sense and we have to deal with things that we never thought would happen but with the love of family and friends we can get to where we need to be. We need to lift the heavy weight and try to feel lighter, as hard as that may be. Just remember I am a friend till the end and then I will carry your love with me always. Thinking of those special to me and thanking God for my family and friendships.

We were in a cab on our way to the city. Windows rolled down just enough to feel the gentle breeze swirl inside the car. I was looking out the window to avoid getting car sick. Thoughts of the evening played in my head and not knowing it but my body was a bit tense. Out of nowhere I felt a calming touch on my leg. My husband placed his hand on my leg ever so gently at just the right time, all of the sudden I felt my entire body relax. I took a deep breath and felt so relieved and reassured.

How can a touch be so powerful? How can a touch lift all the burdens of the day? How can a touch remind you that you are loved unconditionally and admired? All I know is that “touch” is all this heart needs and because of it I was able to relax and enjoy all the evening adventures.

That moment when all you need is that touch.

Life is a beautiful gift we are given to live the best way we can with gratitude, love, care, kindness, appreciation in your heart and mind. This gift although fragile is strong in many ways. Please do not dwell on what could have been or fear what will be. Don’t fill your heart with hate and jealousy but with love and kindness. So many people want to hurt you because they are hurting. Understand that and move forward. Don’t let them bring your loving heart down to their pain. You can help them through it. Lift them up even though they are trying to bring you down, and if it doesn’t work carry yourself with the love and respect that God gives all of us. It’s how YOU handle what is given to you rather than what someone else says to be true. Believe in you. 

Walking arm and arm with my mom today was the most emotionally beautiful feeling. She stood strong and tried to keep that welcoming smile on her face even though I knew her thoughts were heavy. We were surrounded by students, faculty, parents and friends fighting to keep Bishop Ford open. Fighting for a common goal to keep a home to many open. My mom worked there for over ten years. When asked she took overtime. When ordered she smiled and did what was told of her. She never complained only helped in any way she could and now they are closing without warning, explanation and heart. Today was just another reason why hope and faith gets harder but no matter how far we are pushed we need to hold on to any belief we have that things get better.
As we took our final walk around the school, our arms locking even tighter. We just stood looked at each other and then heard the sweet voice of the schools choir. Everything seems so real and I hid my tears so mom wouldn’t see. I am so proud of my mom for all she is and all she does. From the light that shines within her and spread within me.
I hope she knows I will always stand right by her side as she’s always stood by mine.

When you have kids they say you make new friends. You bring your kids to different activities, classes, events and school so you begin to see the same faces. Parents dropping off their kids or enjoying a class together. You exchange smiles and pleasantries but then a lot of the time it stops there. It takes a lot for me to open myself up and let anyone in but you try to do just that. Sometimes it works and sometimes it makes you shrivel up and close the door even tighter.

Moving is hard no matter where you started or where you came from. My home to me will always be Brooklyn. That is where I was born and celebrated my younger years. I also made some of my closest friends during that time. Although we moved away early on my heart has always been here. Now that doesn’t mean that during my travels I haven’t met amazing friends, I surely have. It just means my feet always want to land here. A move is hard especially for a person that is shy and doesn’t put themselves out there. I always thought, Why should I? When you are hurt a number of times your door closes tighter and your confidence all but diminishes. It takes a lot to undo what was done.

This morning as I was taking my kids to school I saw familiar faces so I smiled at each face. It was hard for me because my mind was feeling a little heavy this morning but that didn’t stop me from trying. I found that not everyone wants a smile in the morning. It almost felt as though I was bothering some and that made it harder for me to keep my smile. Once I dropped off the kids my mind drifted to my time in Texas. I realized that as much as I wanted to leave there I miss it. Well, let me rephrase that. I miss the friends I made there. I wish there was a way you could gather them all up and take them wherever you go. I mean, I know I do just that in memories and in my heart but I miss the physical being. That being said, I tried to open up myself again to people around me. I convinced myself that not everyone is out to hurt you or to hurt people. You need to open yourself up to the world so that you can receive amazing gifts.

I met a couple of new parents within the past few days that are truly kind. I’m happy I didn’t allow myself to be discouraged once again by the negative. Even though this will be a slow process it’s a stage in your life like everything else. It’s how we allow ourselves to experience it and move forward. Hoping to do that with kind people that will help me grow as well as allow me to help them. It’s great when you share a common goal and for me that is to love unconditionally. Help my children grow up to be the best people they can be. Along with teaching them not to give up, be strong and ALWAYS believe in yourself even when you feel like you lost your way. Surround yourself with people that lift you up and allow you to shine. That love your smile so that no matter how you feel that smile brightens up the day. 

Everyone is going through something whether good or bad something is always happening. Sometimes I’m so caught up in a moment that I immediately want to share it with all of you. My moments change frequently but when I catch an uplifting one I feel like sharing it in the hopes it will lift up someone who may need it at their moment. This doesn’t mean that all my moments or stories are happy and perfect. Lord knows I am far from that but it means that at that moment I was able to smile and share my smile with you. Smiles become frowns within seconds and that’s ok. It’s how we let it affect us that will make all the difference. Just because one moment I was admiring something my kids did or slow dancing with my husband feeling the love around us so deeply doesn’t mean the very next moment Gio and Isa aren’t screaming and fighting over a toy they each want causing any peace to slip away. Or that I have a leak, now a hole in my ceiling. The list goes on as I’m sure it does for many of you. We need to do our best to remember that moment that caught your smile. The moment that surrounded you with love and let those carry you through the not so good times. Life is not perfect but neither are we so we should never expect the perfect. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. Lift you up when you feel like you are scraping the floor because you are so low. Everyone of us needs reminders sometimes and that’s what I hope my stories are to you. Please share your uplifting stories. A moment that left you smiling or a moment that brought overwhelming fear and frustration. I love hearing them all and hope that we can each make the other smile and not feel so alone.

To all the lovers out there. To those who have so much love in their hearts to give and are waiting for that special someone. To all those who celebrated love with loved ones in the past and cherish those moments in the present. For all those who believe in their happy ending. May today be filled with more love than your heart can hold. More love that surrounds you with warmth and security. More love that will carry you each day even when you’re feeling unloved and alone. Happiest Valentine’s Day to you and to your hearts joy. Thinking about la Nonna and wishing her the happiest birthday and Valentine’s Day from all of us down here. May this not be the commercial holiday it’s turned out to be but a day to reflect, love and embrace yesterday, today and always.

 My beautiful Nonna. You are surely missed but carried in our hearts and lives every day and always.

You know when you are walking alone outside and your mind begins to smack you in the face with all that has happened up until this point. Good and bad all of it just right there in front of you. Your head gets heavy and the weight of it all just brings tears to your eyes. Not knowing you crying. tears just stream down your face and you are in the moment. All of the sudden as you are wiping tears from your cheeks, not knowing when they began to fall or how, you see a familiar face that makes that moment just break. The smile and kind words just bring comfort to anything you were feeling. The heaviness just slowly lifts and you are back to the present. You appreciate the smiles and words and take it in to remember what a beautiful gift you have. It’s life. It’s love. It’s family. It’s friendship. Keep the faith and hope alive. Enjoy your Friday!

I can’t help but smile and maybe shed a tear every time I read “How full is your bucket” to my kids. No matter how many times a day I read it, the reaction on the kids face makes my entire body smile. It also makes me think of every persons invisible bucket and try to be cautious and caring with my words. My wish for all of you is that your bucket stays full for all your days.

Happy Friday!