Today Isannah had a make up ballet class at a different location. She was a bit quiet but she listened attentively and followed her teacher perfectly. We all went to see Isannah as a family. Giovanni could see something was different for Isannah and kept asking to see if she was ok. Once class was over he waited for Isannah to come out of the classroom. She beamed from ear to ear when she saw him and went right up to him. He had his arms open ready to hug her and they hugged each other for what felt like a lifetime. It was the sweetest thing ever. Everyone stopped to stare and the expressions on their faces said it all. My heart beamed as I looked at Asher and then back at the kids. Another moment to pack away in this old heart of mine.

For the first time in a long time I can’t find the words. How can you describe the feeling of a warm tingling love that coats your heart in a way that brings you calm, peace, craziness, fear and showers you will blessings of purpose? How can I describe the feeling behind my eyes when I look at our two miracles and thank God for bringing us this far. Today is a special day for us. We were given two incredible gifts that will last a lifetime. I celebrate life today. Happy blessed 3rd birthday to the two that teach me every day about patience and unconditional love. Giovanni and Isannah Mia we love you. Happy birthday! 

Even though the ice rain was falling. The many street closures for tree pruning that took the kids and I 20 minutes longer to get to school. Along with the heavy clouds that darkened the morning and the slushy wetness created slippery madness outside, Giovanni and Isannah were able to brighten my day and keep a smile on my face for the rest of the morning.

Once we finally reached school, we began our routine of coats, hats, outdoor shoes off to prepare for indoor shoes on and school time. Lunch boxes and morning snacks put away and good byes were being said so that I could make my way back outside to the nastiness of the day. Just then Gio puts his face in my face and followed my every more. I finally asked him what he needed and he puckered up his lips and said, “a kiss mommy.” I let him plant the sweetest kiss smack on my lips. He began to beam from ear to ear and then threw himself into my arms while extending his for the biggest appreciative hug ever. I looked up at him just in time to hear him say thank you. He then turned away and entered the classroom. As that didn’t already have my insides tingling, Isannah gets her name train and before entering her classroom runs back over to me to give me the biggest hug she could give. She said that she also had to tell me something. I asked her what and she kissed my cheek and giggled while running into her classroom. I just felt all kinds of love, giddiness and warmth throughout my body and heart. It was definitely the lift that I needed to walk out of the school smiling and ready for the events of the day. It amazes me how the act of kindness can generate so quickly. What an amazing gift to share.

I would like to share my giddiness and my hearts sunshine with all of you so that your day will be filled with brightness and cheer. 

Today was the day to remove the ornaments and lights from our Christmas tree, Jingle so I began while the kids were napping. I had just removed the bottom section when Giovanni woke up. As we walked down the stairs he gasped for air. I immediately turned to him to see if he was ok. He stood staring at Jingle then turned to me and said, “Jingle is sad.” I explained to him that it was time to say good bye to Jingle and that he was happy to be going to see his friends. Boy, did he make the sweetest face ever while explaining how much he loved Jingle and how he should stay here in our home. I tried to talk to him and make him understand that Jingle did an amazing job bringing such beauty to our home for Christmas but he just stood and stared. Giovanni asked if he could help but every time he put away an ornament he would ask Jingle if he was ok.

Gio would look at Jingle and have a conversation. You ok, Jingle? It’s ok, Jingle. It doesn’t hurt don’t worry. Then he would touch Jingles branch as to almost hug it. It was the sweetest kindest expression. The ornaments and lights were about done when he announced once again that he loved Jingle SOOOO much and he should stay here. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye and frankly neither was I. Jingle was the best tree we’ve had and he was as beautiful as the day we saw him. This tree brought such warmth and inspiration to our home. It was hard to see her bare again. Finally, Asher lifted Jingle and carried him out. When Giovanni and Isannah saw what was happening they became very sad. They repeated that Jingle wasn’t ready and he needed to stay here. Giovanni began crying while repeating Jingle, Jingle, Jingle over and over again. He went to a corner in the kitchen sat down and just cried. The word Jingle was repeated a number of times and every once in a while he would say he loved Jingle. It was the sweetest yet saddest thing. He paced around the room crying Jingle for about 15 minutes. I let him express himself as I swept all the last remains of Jingle until I found one little branch. I went to Giovanni and asked him if he wanted to hold a piece of Jingle with him. He said yes and the tears slowly stopped.

Things were getting back to normal for Giovanni and Isannah until I saw him look in the direction of where Jingle once stood and he became sad again. I was able to meet his eyes with mine and give him and every thing is ok look. He didn’t cry even though I knew he wanted to only returned to listen to daddy read a book. It was a learning experience for us all. A love so innocent and true. Ah, the joys of Jingle. 

The morning after Christmas while Giovanni, Isannah and I walked downstairs Giovanni smiled with excitement. He paused on the steps so he could take the picture in front of him in. The Christmas tree lights were on and the train tracks along with the trains that Santa brought him the day before were still set up all around the living room floor. He looked up at me and yelled “it’s still here.” My heart filled with pure joy as I told him, yes it’s still here. Santa left it for you. He turned to me and asked, “we keep it?” I couldn’t help but scoop him up into my arms, squeeze him as tight as I could without crushing him and kissing his cute smiling cheeks. Of course, I told him. These are your Christmas gifts from Santa. He made the most interesting face followed by smiles and laughter. This little sweet boy thought those gifts were for a day and once Christmas was over the gifts would return. The pure innocence, joy and appreciation on Isannah and Giovanni’s face made tears stream down my face. I couldn’t believe how excited they both were. It was Christmas all over again. Isannah walked over to her horse castle and looked over at me to ask if she could play with it. I nodded and smiled and she began beaming. The trains turned on. The horses klipped and klopped along the castle ramps and the room was filled with the joys of Christmas all over again. This was the best Christmas ever. The joy of giving, the love and spirit of the holidays live in our hearts every day and fill our homes with life.

May the joy, warmth and love of the holidays fill your home. May each of you feel as though you are a child again with the excitement of Santa in your heart and the twinkle of happiness in your eyes. Let us remember the beauty of Christmas and all that it holds.

Waking up in the dark to a tiny voice crying your name is like a confusing dream. You try to get out of bed but some strong force holds you down so you struggle and embarrassingly win. You zombie walk to the trail of that voice, eyes still closed to find a stuffed animal on the floor and that tiny voice SCREAM I dropped my elephant, PICK IT UP. I had no idea what was going on. I pick up the elephant hand it to Isa and she latches on my arm like zombies are after her. I pick her up to hear is Nonna downstairs. Really? No, it’s not even 6 go back to bed. Too late, she was already in my arms and we were stumbling down the stairs. I’m still trying to shake being yelled out about an elephant this morning. Sigh…yawn!

Today I needed an innocently sweet heart to bring light and love into my life. I found it in Giovanni. As I was getting his sister ready for her last ballet class. Giovanni turned to Isa and said, “that’s a beautiful skirt. You look beautiful, Isa.” My heart so delicate in state that the kindness that poured from his mouth and shown in his eyes hugged my heart like a huge band aid. He was so proud of her in class today. We both were. It was parents observation and we were both able to watch Isannah perform in her classroom. Giovanni stayed silently on my lap. With all the things going on and as much as he wanted to join, he stayed strong and just sat. He smiled at his sister and my eyes filled with tears. What an emotionally proud day.

I walked through the preschool door to hear the teacher announce to Giovanni that his mommy was here. Out of nowhere I saw this sweet beaming boy pop out of the side wall. A smile as big as the world, running towards me while maneuvering around other students and teachers to make his way into my open arms. My heart just about exploded as I heard him yelling mommy, mommy, mommy the entire way. I can’t possibly put into words the happiness, pure love, joy and appreciation I felt at that moment. As if everything I was trying so hard to do as a mommy was confirmed in that one moment. A moment that is now imprinted in my heart. This is what it’s all about. Isannah and Giovanni completed their first full morning at school. They each explained in giggling detail all that happened at school today. I was giggling myself along with beaming with pride and unconditional love. These two miracles walking along side of me are mine. I still can’t believe they started preschool. Who am I kidding, I can’t believe they are walking and talking. They are two little people now and each day they grow even bigger but not just in size but in heart, in love and in gratitude. May every mother’s first day of school be just as powerful and may it be a confirmation of all the hard work you each face on a daily basis.