My adorable daughter made my heart smile so much today. I was watching her pull off stickers from her book and place them on her booboo’s. She placed a sticker on a booboo she had on her foot and one on her knee. As she’s placing the stickers on each booboo she says, happy booboo now. She comes to me and shows me each sticker and says, mommy now my booboo’s are happy. I just smiled, and yes cried too.
Train table needs fixing
It’s just me, the kids and the radio playing at home. Giovanni asks me to put on his tool belt which I did. He then lays on the floor back to the ground tool belt around waist and screwdriver in right hand while he slides his body under the train table with his left hand. All of the sudden I see his screwdriver fixing the bottom of the table while talking. Isannah hears him and comes over to watch. She lays with her elbows on the ground hands up while propping her chin on her hands. They start talking in the cutest language I’ve ever heard and giggle a little. Then Giovanni says shh Eennanna (Isannah) I’m fixing the table. She stays quiet for a second and then starts pointing to areas he needs to fix. Once Gio is done he slides out looks at Isannah, hands her the screwdriver and says, your turn. Her face lights up and immediately goes under the table. The cute language followed by giggles begin. All I can do is stare and smile. NOW my cold/cough thing go away so I can kiss these adorably cute twins all over.
Potty training
Day 6 of potty training was the end of this round of potty training again. It was a rough week and the kids really weren’t getting it. Giovanni started to get the hang of it by knowing when he needed to go and then allowing us a second to rush him to the potty to try to make some pee in it. He let us know when he was about to pee. However, he wouldn’t go on it alone. It was scary for him. Isannah just didn’t want to listen. She would be in the middle of dancing and just pee causing her to slip in her pee and fall smack on her back. She actually did that twice slamming her head on the floor. She would pee as she walked. We would sit her on the potty and just smile, sing, go all kinds of crazy to ease any fear she had and just sit there with her. At times it was for long stretches, of course when she wanted to, then as soon as she would get up and go on the couch she peed and just peed no matter what we were saying. I tried to talk to her and all she would do is turn away and hum pretending she wasn’t hearing me. Saturday night when I ran the bath Asher had enough of the peeing and strapped them both in diapers. They were bare bottoms for 6 days (I know that’s a little time in potty training world) even outside but Sunday morning it was diapers once again. They were smart too. They knew I would put diapers on them at night so they wouldn’t poop the entire time out of the diapers which was all day until bedtime. Then right before I would come to get them in the morning, BAM poop and lot’s of it.
Why this feeling?
I can sit and stare at you while you sleep and want to hold you. Take in your smell and just be with you. Listen to you breathe and hear your heart beating just to know you are really here growing and becoming little people. When you are awake I see you learn, grow, laugh and play and my heart skips a beat but why do I feel like I need to be a better parent, be more patient? I don’t know why I feel like I’m not fulfilling my motherly duty. I love you more than words can ever say. You have all of me. I’d give my every last breath to you and my world is yours, then why this feeling?
New spot are new adventures
Tucked away in a new corner they found, they sit together and smile. Giovanni grabbing a handful of snacks and sticking them in Isannah’s mouth. They both giggle and then it’s Isannah’s turn. She grabs one snack at a time and carefully places it in Giovanni’s mouth but before he can close his mouth she snatches it back and puts it in her mouth. The giggles turn into loud laughter and there begins my cheek ache from smiling so much. They are always just what I need…
Some days…
Some days are good, some days are ok, some days have you walking on cloud nine, and some days make you feel like your insides are crumbling slowly and each break hurts so much you can’t breathe. This is when you have to remember the days that warm your heart and help keep that smile on your face. No matter what the weight is it is up to you to push it off and let it lift way up high. It will find it’s way to someone who will help you breathe again and give you hope that tomorrow will only get better. All you need is faith.
Deep breath
Sometimes you just want to close your eyes tightly breathe in deeply and slowly release it with all the aches, pains, sadness and hurt of all those you love and know so that they too can breathe freely with hope in their heart and faith in their soul and know that tomorrow will be a new day. A day filled with all new beginnings. Please let the weight lift.
Just the right food
Sometimes food just makes all the difference you need at that moment. My handsome love of a man made the most amazing Texas chili. It was all the heart, love and comfort I needed to embrace me tonight. It’s the little things that makes all the difference in the world. Now if only the migraine I had all day would totally make it’s departure it would complete the evening the way it was meant to be.
Turning 2
Two years ago today we experienced love, fear, hope, faith, joy, sadness and warmth like no other. We were blessed with two incredibly strong, kind, loving, beautiful miracles from God. I can still remember each moment, each tear, each chill and each beep in the NICU like it was yesterday but I can’t help but smile at the loving faces I see everyday. We are so proud and so much in love with you, Giovanni and Isannah Mia. Happiest 2nd birthday. May each day be a gift filled with curiosity, love, love, love, kindness, kisses, drool filled hugs, hope, faith and laughter. You are our gift every day, our hope, our life. Thank you for blessing us with life and love all over again. I am one proud mommy.
We all need little reminders
We all go through many experiences in our lives. Some can make you skip endlessly with smiles and giggles others can have your heart dragging on the floor from the weight and pain that is too heavy for your small hands to lift and hold. There are many different feelings in between but it’s up to you to find those moments that have you skipping and hold on to those tightly so they can help you fly through all the rest. I love to share my thoughts when my heart allows me to put them into words. I want each of you to know that sometimes when someone is smiling so brightly it doesn’t always mean they have no care in the world. It just means that they are trying to be strong not only for those around them but for themselves. Respect those you love, let them know how much they mean to you every chance you get. Never wish for someones life because of the way they look on the outside. You’d be surprised how much better your life is and how beautiful you are. I love my life struggles and bubbles because it’s mine. It’s the life that God has made for me. I just need to leave those scary moments in his hands and share the happiness and love with him because I know that he is there through it all. Sometimes you just need little reminders.