Tag Archives: Spanish Dance

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Tears both sad and happy

Hello…it’s been a while. 

Life really does have a way of grabbing you and flinging you off the ride from time to time. It’s up to you to see how you land each time you are tossed. 

There was a lot that was going on these past few weeks. 

Those who are not from the New York area might not understand this but the High School process for 8th graders and their family is truly a nightmare. Not only are there deadlines that need to be met, there’s a lottery system that tells you what place you are in. Who gets lucky to choose their top 5 high schools and guarantee a spot in their top choices. Others aren’t so lucky, just like us. Both my kids received the bottom 3% number which means no matter how unbelievably amazing my kids’ grades are they will probably not get any of their top selections. Thank goodness for specialized testing, auditions, and screened HS. Keeping our fingers crossed that any of those work in our favor. Because fear of placement in HS has forced us into the private school route. That was even more stressful because now comes essays, questions for both kids and parents. Interviews, another test for private school entry, and much more. 

All this was going on during my dad’s emergency hospital visit and 7 days that followed in the hospital. It was scary but thankfully things got better and he was able to get back home. Not much I can say about that at this time or my eyes will continue to cry like a fountain’s water quickly falling. 

Let’s jump into a happier moment. 

The Nutcracker. 

My daughter dedicated her weekends and time to Nutcracker rehearsals. Her motivation and drive inspires us all. This is the time of year we all look forward to. It’s the time of year when family and friends near and far come together to see her shine on stage and that, she sure did!  

What a magical experience to witness each year. With each dance that makes its way on the stage I’m always taking back to where and when it all started. Her first role, a mouse, in the Nutcracker is etched in my memory forever. 

I could picture it like it was just yesterday. She was the cutest little thing. Now each time the music begins I get butterflies knowing the mice will come on stage. That’s when a tear escapes my eyes because all I see is her. Tiny little legs performing and jumping on the back of the soldier. I see her. I will always see her first. 

And now to what we were all anxiously waiting for. The music begins to play and the beautiful lights light up the stage. The Windmaidens flow gracefully on stage. Eyes focusing on each maiden until I see her. There she was moving about so flawlessly. She’s there. I look around me to make sure all our guests know she is there too. They are all staring at her with joy in their eyes and happiness on their face. My eyes quickly return to her. I watched as she brought me in with her hypnotic moves. It was so beautiful. She was lithely flowing. It was mesmerizing. 

And then she gracefully échappé right off the stage. I can watch that performance over and over, and I have. I couldn’t go to just one show. I had to go to several. Afterall, she did perform in all shows from Friday to Sunday. 

But that’s not all. There was one extra special performance. Performance 2 where she was not only a Windmaiden but also a Spanish Attendant. Three girls on stage and my beautiful radiant girl was one. Her moves were faster. Her grand jeté was breathtaking. My girl was flying through the air. She flew higher than anything I saw. 

That was it. That finally did me in. I could feel my lids actually swelling. Trying so hard not to cry but I just let the happiness take over. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The moment was beautifully felt by all. 

The final show. The applause begins again and only gets louder as the curtains close and reopen once more. What a grand last night. My husband and I made our way to the foyer so that we could finally see our girl and take her in for the biggest hug. 

Until next year Nutcracker. Until next time.

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The Spanish Dance

Every year around this time Isannah performs in the Nutcracker for Cobble Hill Ballet. Leading up to this time she gets so excited and begins talking about what part she will play when she auditions. Every year she tells me how much closer she is to auditioning for the part of Clara. In her ballet school you have to be a certain age to audition for Clara. And boy has she been counting the years. 

This year with all that is going on with COVID they are unable to perform the Nutcracker at the theater. Isannah was really sad about it but still happy that her ballet school was coming up with a plan to bring the Nutcracker to their students. Classes were given a dance to work on and Isannah’s class was doing the Spanish Dance.

She would sneak in her room and practice in private so she wouldn’t ruin the surprise for us. She was pretty giddy and the smiles were real as she left her room. Those smiles are definitely needed right now. Anything that can keep her smiling makes me happy. Her love for ballet is definitely one of them. 

This year the costumes weren’t distributed. The girls in her class were able to create or use something they had that was red. They could make it all up as long as the costume made them feel comfortable and happy to perform. 

It took Isannah quite a while to figure out what she was wearing and how she wanted to style her hair. It all finally came together and she was happy with her selection. 

On the day of her performance, her nerves set in. She was nervous but in an excited happy way. She quickly got dressed and was ready for me to apply some make up. She had been looking forward to wearing red lipstick. Sadly, there was no point in wearing lipstick when her lips would be hiding behind a face mask. 

The time had come to make our way to ballet. As we were walking out the door Isannah turned to me and said, “everyone usually comes to see me in the Nutcracker. Bubbe and Bubba come to visit all the way from Chicago. Nonna, Nonno and everyone else is excited to see me. This time no one will be there to take pictures, to cheer or to wave to me from the audience. It will just be me and my friends in class.” I could tell she was beginning to feel a little down. I quickly changed the subject to something that could bring her joy again. After all, her ballet school was recording the performance to be able to share it with family members and friends. We are all very much looking forward to watching her performance together.  

This year we were missing a lot of family. The excitement of the audience cheering. The waves and screams of support and love. The rushing around to get her to all her shows on time and the many flowers she would be presented with. 

We missed a lot but we still had a happy ballerina working hard to perform her heart out which she did. 

This is my beautiful ballerina.