Tag Archives: Life

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Fairwell my friend

Saying goodbye to 2024 and reflecting on the ups and downs that came with it. In the new year we must approach life with love, kindness, and a sense of urgency, not putting off experiences and connections due to fear or routine. This mindset can help us make the most of the time we have and can create meaningful memories with those around us.

As we look forward to the new year, I’m hoping for more kindness, love, laughter, and opportunities to make memories with loved ones. It’s a great reminder that life is precious and should be lived to the fullest.

Life can take us in many different directions, but it’s how we approach those twists and turns that matters. With love and kindness, we can cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfillment, even in the face of uncertainty.

I try every day to see the good that surrounds me but sometimes my mind gets cloudy and pulls me in a direction I fear will bring me back to the sadness I carry with me. 

This past year had beautiful memories but right at the end my faith was tested again. I entered 2025 with heartbreak.

New year’s started with a loss so great my mind still can’t comprehend. My beautiful, kind, full of life, make things happen, friend was taken too soon. 

I met DQ when I first moved back to NY and walked into my first job. He welcomed me with nothing but kindness. He created an environment that was scary for me, with nothing but joy. He took my fear and turned it around allowing me to open up to the possibilities it could bring. He always included me and made sure I was comfortable. He made me laugh so much. When I was with him I knew things would always be great. 

His was a friendship that blossomed through the years and he became a staple in my life. From our work Thursday night drinks to our talks that always ended with my cheeks hurting from laughter, he was that friend you needed in your life. 

I will be grateful to you always and for being able to see you and hold your hand as I said goodbye.

Dearest DQ,

I want to tell you, thank you! I hope you truly felt how much your friendship means to me. Thank you for the many laughs, unfaltering friendship, pop in notes, but more importantly your kindness and heart. Always full of life, joy, and the many adventures you shared with all of us. I am forever grateful that I had the chance to hear you once more. Your voice was soft and kind. You said it was ok. You were so brave until the very end. 

Praying all the amazing memories we all shared with you helps with the everyday knowing you are at peace. 24+ years was too little but ever so grand. 

You will forever remain in my heart.

Your Franklin

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Turning 50 and Things

07.01.2024

What can I say for the month of June? Each day was passing and getting me closer to my birthday. I had anxiety and waves of panic about turning 50. 

All the promises I made to myself for my 50th were falling apart and my promises were slowly crumbling. One was to lose the weight I gained quite easily during the peri days and with the lack of motivation nothing was falling into place. I felt like I let myself down and therefore let others down. 

I always put the most pressure on myself and that knocks me down even further. I never could shake that. It’s drilled into my thought process but I’m trying to get better. 

So let’s see, those who truly know me know that I don’t like surprise parties or having too much attention on me. I was the girl that never wanted to open gifts in front of anyone and didn’t like people singing happy birthday to me. I always felt bad about that because I know how much people want to sing and make you happy. In fact, I love doing that for others and hosting. It makes me feel good inside knowing I can bring joy and happiness to another person. I understand that joy so I feel horrible feeling the way I do about that. I haven’t changed even as I grow older each year that seems to stay the same. 

But I made a few dear friends this past school year and they treated me extra special leading up to my birthday. 

It all started with a PA appreciation dinner which was such a sweet gesture and treat. We got to have dinner out with the group that helped each other during the school year. It was a special thank you. We had many laughs and great conversations. Not to mention a creepy lady photographer making us pose in interesting ways all to sell us framed photos. Which of course was purchased as a memory of the 2023-2024 school year. 

During this wonderful dinner the lights would flash and loud birthday music would kick on. I was frantic and my cheeks felt warm until the staff walked to another table. I felt relieved but each time that happened I got a little nervous. The meal was almost over and all of the sudden the music kicked back on once more with the sounds of waiters singing coming in my direction. I couldn’t help but stare at the wall while turning beet red. They got me. This crew really got me. I know it was kind of them so I tried my best to go with it. They are a great group of women and I am lucky that I had them to share another year of middle school.

The emotions continued with the 7th grade BBQ celebration, followed by the last snack sale of the year, and saying good-bye to our 8th graders. I was humbled by the kind words I received by students with some asking permission to give me a hug. The words, “I will miss you” made me feel so appreciated. 

And just like that the last day of school was here. It was time to say good-bye to some amazing staff and 8th grade parents who will be moving on to a new school with their kids. 

At the same time realizing my 7th grade beautiful miracles will be entering 8th grade. It will be their final year at Twain all this happening on the day I turned 50. 

It’s been an emotional roller coaster. From highs to lows and everything in between. I feel as though we just started our tour for middle school and now we will be entering 8th. Very soon we will begin the high school process along with the stress that comes with it.   

I’m afraid to blink as so much will change when I reopen my eyes. 

And just like that, the school year ended and I turned 50. I guess it’s not as bad as I thought. As for the promises to myself, it can still happen.