Watching Gio shimmy and shake between his toys and chairs makes me smile. I don’t know how to explain it but as I see his tushie side step to get through a tight corner my heart just melts. His face so happy and animated, his little body moving in all twisted ways. This causes tears to slowly roll down my cheeks. I am taking back to the beginning and see my tiny baby boy attached to tubes and machines and I can’t help but cry a little harder. Right at that moment Gio quickly turns around and tilts his head and just smiles in my direction. I melt all over again reach out for him and he runs forcefully in my arms. He is one of my little miracles, I take his smell in and just look up and say THANK YOU. I am blessed times two. Gio goes back to his shimmy and shake as we wait for Isannah to get up from a long nights sleep. No matter the struggles you are faced and the pain that accompanies each difficult time when you look into your babies eyes you know God has a plan and he is a great God. 

It never fails each time one of the little ones goes to sleep and I have to carry them upstairs, I just stare at their face. Look at the peaceful baby face just sleeping and breathing softly in my arms. I hold them close to my chest and just take their smell in and at that moment I want to drop to my knees and thank God for his gift. I can’t believe these beautiful, loving, affectionate little beings are ours. Before I place them in the crib I give them another little squeeze, gently kiss them on the head, and tell them how much I love them. Then I QUICKLY tip toe my ass out of there and pray to God they don’t wake up.

The weather was beautiful and the feeling was amazing. I’ve done these walks before and always looked around at the posters, t-shirts, babies and my heart always ached but never did I think I would be one of those mothers and today I was. As I walked I remembered the beginning and all we went through, then the music was pumping and I saw Isa and Gio dancing and smiling and it made my heart better. It was an amazing day and I thank God every day for saving our two blessings. Gio and Isa’s Miracles in honor of our sweet Giovanni and Isannah raised over $2,000 for the March for Babies. This is definitely a beginning to a new tradition for our family. I can’t wait to walk again next year with my Gio and my Isa by my side. 

It was 20 minutes after Asher left for work this morning that Isannah decided to give me the scare of my life. As she was enjoying apples while sitting on the floor she decides to laugh at the ceiling. She leaned to far back causing her to fly back and hit her head. As that wasn’t enough she began crying and the piece of apple in her mouth was inhaled down her throat. Baby girl started choking and so many friggin emotions raced in my head. I grabbed her did the choke bit I learned while in the NICU and still nothing. Isa turning all colors while tears running down her face, eyes glossy and red/purple and I kept on at it. Finally the friggin apple flew out. Isa made a sound and then cries filled the room, mine included. In that moment I wanted to bring her outside and SCREAM for help but I remained calm and all the procedures came to mind. I never thought I would remember it all much less be able to ever perform it. Thank you God for my strength this morning and for using my hands to help my little girl. I think things calmed down a bit too much from the time they were born that I needed a shake up again. Please, please, please know that I am aware of all the scares and I am always reminded of the beginning so there’s no need to remind me, thank you!

Tears filled my eyes and a big smile came across my face when I looked down at my baby girl as I was feeding her a bottle today. It was the first time in several months that I held her in my arms to bottle feed her. She no longer needs us to hold her bottle much less pick her up to do so but this evening she was so tired and couldn’t hold it. I didn’t realize I was holding her the way I used to when I breastfed her and tears began to fall. I was taken back to the start of it all. An angel so beautiful in my arms…eyes are filling with tears again. What an emotionally beautiful day. Thank you God for believing in me to bless me with two beautiful babies. Your faith in me showers me with love everyday and keeps me strong to be the best mother I can be. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I love my family, my life and my friends. Thank you for being a part of my everyday! 

Let’s see, today was an interesting day. It started with Gio’s new thing which is making himself throw up…tons of fun. It looks like Isa is learning this cool new trend as she threw up shortly after Gio did. The best thing about Gio’s throw up was that it not only got all over him, the chair, the floor and mommy but he made sure that the last of it didn’t come out until I looked directly in his face to say the words, poor baby. Mouth wide open at the poor…and out came more throw up. Right in my mouth, the kid has perfect aim but he wasn’t done. One little sneeze which blew out more from his nose that splashed on my eyebrows and eyelashes. As I swallowed a combination of food, broken down protein formula and some milk all I can do is hold this little man in my arms and reassure him mommy was there and he would be fine. Just another day in the Newcomer home.

I don’t know where to begin…this year has been….WOW. With the fears, tears, joys, extra love, hugs and kisses we’ve gotten through it all. I feel the saying holds true, If God takes you to it, he will get you through it, and that he does! When it seems like all hope is lost and you are more scared than you ever thought possible, he gives you more hope and love. After meeting and marrying my husband I never thought I could love anymore but each day I see his smile and look into the eyes of our babies, and love just grows stronger and you feel it more. I can’t explain it but it hugs my body, keeps me warm and lifts my soul. I never knew what love, true love, pure love, unconditional love was until my family. I love our family. You complete me. Happy 1st birthday, Giovanni and Isannah Mia! You make us proud.

Peaked in the nursery this evening and although I couldn’t see a thing I felt so much love and warmth. In the darkness I could see the curves of their face, the shape of their eyes and I could hear the laughter which fills the room. It made me giggle out loud a little and then my hand immediately slammed into my face to cover my mouth in fear of waking my blessings. Awe, the joys of motherhood. Now off to bed I go to lie in the arms of the man I love. Life…